REALITY RELAPSE

Asking for ~PRAYER~
Thank you.

I recently had another flareup. I spent 3 days in the hospital- I suffered silently, like the strong soldier, I am. The lone wolf. 😊☺️ However, I woke up just now, head in a fog, dizzy, room spinning, hungry, yet no appetite, I cannot taste seasonings, vision is impaired, my voice is gone, I'm walking slow and sound bothers me. I want to read my devotional and my Bible, but my eyes are not stable enough. I cannot imagine this will be my life – for the rest of my life. Weeks in recovery – just to be able to take a shower without an hour break in between dressing myself and brushing my teeth. Don't get me wrong, these are HUGE accomplishments I celebrate with every fiber of my being, but I get a lil sad thinking that each time I go through a flareup I must hit the reset button and begin again. This is my new normal and I'm not exactly used to it yet. Even though I think I've gotten there, something like waking up to my reality reminds me I'm not there yet. I still have a ways to go. It's only been two years in. Oh my goodness.

My body shakes all over, uncontrollably. I try to maintain. To act "normal" to not let in that something is different – something's changed. It's hard to convince myself that things are different now. I think about people I've met along my journey who have shared with me their stories, 15, 21, 26, 29, 32 yrs in, oh my goodness, will this really be my song, too? I'm only two yrs in and have only suffered a total 5 relapses since being diagnosed in 2015. It seems like forever.

I have no complaints. I'm just not sure of what tomorrow will be. Plans to be anything other than a person who struggles with MS is really all I plan my days around.

Well, thank you for listening and for praying. I hope that if anything you gain strength from what I'm enduring. Together we become stronger.

What we have to look forward to is far more better than what we are seeking to overcome on this end, believe…

http://bible.com/1/jer.17.7.kjv

Life Is A Party

~Smile, though you're heart is breaking~

Now on the road to recovery.

Ended up back at the ER, Tuesday evening. Waited over 12 hours for a bed/room. -Spent 3 days in the hospital. Didn't tell hardly anyone. Just who needed to know.

Had a wonderful view of the outside. God answered my prayers.

I just rolled with it all.

Discharged from hospital, last night (7/21/17).

Pained my heart so to see my children cry for me when I informed them I had to go back to the hospital.
I hate that they don't have a normal teen life.

I went to ER, last Monday (7/10/17), and the attending doctor (who is not an MS specialist, confined me to outpatient prednisone tablet treatment, which I found later was the wrong call to make on his part. Made things worse. He should've admitted me, immediately and got the ball rolling that night – do it right the first time!

I needed the Solution-Medrol 3-5 treatment. Saw my neurologist on that following Tuesday afternoon and he sent me back to the ER with particular instructions to hand to the doctors – which got the ball rolling. 2 CT-scans (1 w/contrast) and 4 MRI's later – no new lesions showed up.

They monitored my heart and everything. I cannot say what went wrong other than MS has a mind of its own. Last night, this female doctor just woke me up out of my sleep and kicked me out. I felt so bad. I was hurt, but glad my family was here to receive me. I'm moving extremely slow. My voice is fatigue. I'm just out of it.
My eldest daughter and I are together, clipping coupons. Well, we just have to make the best out of everything. Good and bad. I'm exhausted. Glad she is here to help me through this.
MS is just what it is. Taking it slow. One day at a time. More meds. No energy. No appetite. Nothing tastes right. I'm just here. Getting by. Making the most out of it. STILL SMILING.

Attitude of Gratitude

We must continue to thank God…
He's been more than gracious, more than faithful. He's the only One who has never abandoned us in our time of need. Today, I lay here – thankful… Grateful for modern medicine, health insurance to cover my expenses, and for all those in the medical field who dedicate their lives, their time, their knowledge, skills, years of schooling and their care to help those of us who are not feeling well – on any given day. They play a big part in our recovery. We don't always have to be instantaneously feeling better- just knowing they are dependable and have compassion for us makes a world of difference. I really have great respect for those who work in healthcare industry – and it's NOT just a job. It's their passion to help make our journey toward recovery as pleasant as possible. This is why I always show my gratitude. They give so much of themselves. God bless them all. It lightens the load some. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Count your blessings, not your problems. Find your balance in it all. 🙂
Keep a healthy perspective about everything (good, bad, or ugly). Think we'll. Live well. Be well. #eveninthis #thistooshallpass

GOTTA BE THERE

I am so GRATEFUL for sisters and friends who waste no time to meet the needs of others – even while they are going through their own struggles. Connections matter. 

My big sis, who is a recent cancer survivor (finishing her last chemo treatment in a few weeks) Praise God she has come through her fight, successfully, she came by on early Sunday afternoon and kidnapped me. We just drove up the coast – sat and watched the waves over Huntington Beach and just shared, talked about this journey of survival and filled each other’s cup to overflowing. I am not able to walk as well yet and she allowed me to just take my time ~BE MYSELF~. Then a God-fearing couple with the cutest rescue dog came by and we got to sharing the blessings of God. 

Ingrid and Lou along with their beautiful dog, Shanie are our newest friends. 😁 God orchestrated that, PERFECTLY! Please keep their niece, “Rosanne” in your prayers, for she’s been recently diagnosed with MS. 😞 She’s a trooper like us. I promised Ingrid we will all speak life and blessed healing over her niece. 😊 Shanie (their beautiful dog) made me SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!! 

She could sense I was ill and her presence began to heal me. She kept coming up to me just being sweet and attentive. Most times I’m allergic to dogs, but there was something very special about her. I guess being a rescued dog and placed in a family full of love and care has healed her so she can continue spreading the gift of healing to others, as she was created and rescued to do. Glory to God! God always sends exactly who and what we NEED at the right time. 

We had no idea the day was going to be as magical as it turned out to be. We were just doing US! Laughing, relating, talking about our teenagers, catching up on our health issues and swapping diy recipes for healthy eating to better battle our conditions. God handled the rest. Lip service is just lip service. WE ALL NEED REAL CONNECTIONS. People MATTER. What each of us are facing, daily, weekly, monthly, moment by moment MATTERS. No matter if they’re facing big things, small things or a myriad of unresolvable things – it doesn’t matter! People need other people. We all need each other! 

Connections count for everything! ~RELATIONSHIPS MATTER MOST~ Yes, we are ALL going through trials and tribulations, but we overcome them by connecting ourselves to others and finding ways to pour our gifts and talents into others. SEE THE NEED, MEET THE NEED. Healing starts with a simple touch. ~Peer 2 Peer~ A phone call (not just a text), but TIME SPENT LISTENING to the person. Dropping by to check in on a person, bring them flowers, a card, read a poem or buy them dinner. A treat to the spa or a visit to your favorite coffee shop. I do not subscribe to the idea that “people are just too busy.” 

NO! We make time for who and what we want to make time for. POINT BLANK! I ALWAYS CALL AND REACH OUT! As soon as someone hits my mind – I spring into action. I leave messages, just to let the person know I attempted to connect with them. Do I hit and miss? YES! We all do, but my excuse is NEVER, “I’ve been too busy for you.” I DO BETTER! 

We all must commit to doing BETTER than we did the last time. Yes, there is a point when we need to stop being mistreated and taken for granted, but truth be told, we don’t have to allow the nontechnical actions of others to change US. We can still be our caring selves, sharing and loving them where they are without expectation of a return. Truthfully, it’s their loss, when it comes down to it. NEVER CHANGE! BE YOU!! If showing kindness to others helps you heal during your times of struggle then continuing DOING YOU! ❀️❀️❀️ The world is fortunate to have people like you who do this on a consistent basis. God will reward you for your love and your unjaded gentle heart. Never change. I am so grateful my big sis just dropped by and snatched me up. Just the shot I needed after my ordeal – going through the relapse feeling SOOOOOOOO ALONE AND KICKED TO THE CURB. I’ve been beaming, ever since. #bubblingover #shegetsit ❀️❀️❀️

People who are not suffering will never get it or understand – we never do until it happens to us. 

I will forever be compassionate of others. I don’t know what others are facing and I don’t need to know. I just need to be available and step up to the plate to meet the need. God will show me exactly how and He will equip me. ALL PEOPLE MATTER. What we are facing MATTERS. ~WE MATTER~ ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️

We need each other to ~SURVIVE~ 🌸🌸🌸

WE’RE NOT HERE TO DO LIFE ALONE. 

DO BETTER! 😊❀️❀️❀️

#iamdanalewis #icareaboutyou #beyondlipservice 

Comfort in Keeping Silent

I have learned to just manage through…I felt it coming on, last Thursday. πŸ˜”

I silently suffered through… I was dropped off at the ER. My mother was so broken-hearted to have to leave me to go back to be with my Gurlz. It breaks her heart and the hearts of my children to see me suffering MS relapses.  

I went in quietly. 

I said NOTHING! 

I posted nothing on social media about my ordeal.

I told no one. I suffered my relapse alone. Only my immediate family knew… 

I felt both safe and uncomfortable. I felt like I just needed to deal with it. I asked myself, “Why say? Why post? No one who isn’t suffering even cares. They don’t get it. Just lay here in this hospital bed, quietly and go through…” There were Injections, meds one on top of the other places into my system. I kept it to myself. Not sure if that was part of my own feelings of isolation or my weariness that was causing me to be silent. The nurse could not believe my pain was at a 10 and I was quiet. All she could see were my tears. Maybe having gone through this so many times, previously, I think it’s built in me mutebox. Why say? Why make sounds – just suffer through. 😞

I got through it like the champ, everyone says I am and SEES me as. Ha! I didn’t feel so strong. I just did what I had to do. 

Thankful to no longer be in the hospital, however I do not exactly feel better. Trying hard to find my rhythm, again. Flareups are evil. They steal so much from us who suffer from this volatile disease, MS (and for some, other diseases, discomforts on top of MS). It takes so much to get back on track. I just want us all to be healed, already. I really hate being sick. I’m so tired. So, very, very tired. Thankfully, I have a God and family – a true (small) support of people who care a great deal about what I’m suffering. I know there are people on this site who do not have the support that some of us have. This site is so important to be able to share on and share in together. It is a prayer on my heart that none of us suffer this stuff alone. I was in the hospital and I cried as I held on to my nurse’s hand. I just needed someone’s hand to hold while I had my meltdown. Life gets that way – and guess what? It’s okay! Have your meltdowns, cry, scream, whatever you need to release your pain, anger and frustration. Just be sure you don’t isolate yourself and go through it, alone. We’re NOT alone. 

Believe…

~WE’RE STILL FABULOUS~

Tears or SMILES. In pain or in joy. As a Community of SURVIVORS – We matter. ~WE MATTER~ πŸ™ƒβ˜ΊοΈπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜πŸ˜‡

Take Your Bow, Queen

Moms, be extra kind to your bodies. Don’t deprive yourself of “self-love”. Care for yourself the same as you care for your life and the wellbeing of your family. Stop comparing yourself to your old (younger self), your young children, your classmates, co-workers, magazine models and women in department stores. Stop looking down on yourself. You’re perfectly beautiful just the way you are. 
Stop the nonsense! No more putting yourself down or talking negatively about your body or features to yourself or in front of your children, especially, in front of your beautiful daughters. 

Love yourself! Let your daughters hear you speaking kindly to yourself about yourself. Children mimic EVERYTHING they see us do and hear us say. Fix your tone and your face when you get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. No more negative self-talk! 


If you’re not practicing right thinking and showing comfort in being you and being comfortable in your own skin – what do you think our daughters will practice? They will practice the same things. Our daughters want to be able to feel okay just as they are, but seeing us stress about our weight, our complexion, our features, our hair, and things we lack or are over abounding in – they will begin to find the flaws within themselves and practice as we’ve done, -pointing out everything she thinks is wrong with her. 

God makes no mistakes. 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

I grew up watching women age gracefully and I remember wanting to be just like them when I grew up, grayed up and all. No lie! I found that women who aged were remarkable. They looked so beautiful to me – still do! They’d dress so nicely and smell so good. I thought older women just had it so great! I loved seeing how much their husbands would STILL admire and adore them – dote all over them, and wait on them hand and foot. I loved seeing how their husband’s eyes would sparkle when they’d enter the room. That was magical. 

If your husband still looks at you like that, waiting on you hand and foot, accepts you as you ARE, always tells you how beautiful you look to him (though you know your features have changed some) realize you have a super awesome friend. 

If your children still look at you with wide eyes and bright smiles and still snuggle upon you, seeking your comfort and wanting to smell your wonderful scent (the mommy scent) as they did as infants, or your daughter looks at you and tells you how gorgeous you are to her, even though you may walk slightly with a limp, you may not speak as eloquently, or now you have to wear wigs and flat shoes, but she STILL desires to be just like you when she grows up, -Listen… ARE A VERY BLESSED WOMAN~

You raised your family well. Trust it.

You are more fortunate than you will ever come to realize. You have the best friends anyone could ever want. Genuine love is your “friends” accepting and embracing EVERYTHING about you #flawsnall 

Surround yourself with people who love you for you and celebrate you as you are. Age is a state of mind. Graceful and humble acceptance of your aging process is a sign of what level of maturity you are in. 

Most times IT’S US WITH THE PROBLEM WITH HOW WE LOOK (to ourselves). No one else is trippin’ about it, but us. 

Be the woman your daughter wants to grow up to be like and be proud of the woman you ARE. Speak to her about your younger days. Show her your most favorite photos – when you felt your prettiest. Give her a prelude into what true beauty is and how it develops by showing her your cocoon stages (awkward stage to the butterfly stage) Watch her eyes light up! 

Right now, our daughters see us as ~ELEGANT SWANS~ 

When girls see us continuing to be fearless, fierce and fabulous as we are – right now, they won’t fear the process of growing up, growing older and changing. They won’t jump through hoops trying to hold on to their youth. 

WE ALL MUST AGE AND WILL – AS WE GET OLDER. But aging doesn’t mean we’re ugly or less than. Teach the young ones how fortunate we are to reach our elderly years. Teach them properly how to ensure they will get to be a good old age and still walk in and steal the show. #alleyesonyou 

Aging means – YOU’RE MORE FABULOUS THAN EVER! You’ve grown in mind, soul and in spirit. Aging is something we should celebrate more than we celebrate youth. There’s a lot of hidden treasures in the process of aging. 

Be EVERYTHING God intended you to be right this minute. (Good, bad, or ugly) Commit to these 3: Love who you were. Love who you are, today. Love who you’re becoming. No comparisons, just simply ~EMBRACE~ 

Appreciate your journey.

β€œIf youth knew; if age could.”

-Henri Estienne

β€œThe error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence”

-Oscar Wilde

β€œI’ll tell β€˜ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people”

-Bob Hope – (This is my FAVE! It’s true!!) 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟